


More of a Saunter Than a Fall

by faithharkness



Category: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-15 21:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1320415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithharkness/pseuds/faithharkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River Song always has a back-up plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More of a Saunter Than a Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Hurt/Comfort Bingo over at LJ.
> 
> Title adapted from Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett’s description of Crowley in _Good Omens_. And this one is heavier on the comfort than the hurt.

“You really, really should have known better,” he said to her through the bars of the cell.

“I know.”

“Really, _really_ should have known better.”

“I heard you the first time, sweetie. And the three hundredth time, just for the record,” she said, wrapping her hands around the bars.

“You should have trusted me to find a way out on my own.”

“I _did_. But I also trusted you to have one of those moments where your wonky moral compass points true and you sacrifice yourself to save the universe. _Again!_ ”

“‘Wonky moral compass’?” the Doctor asked.

River rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know it. Time Lord Victorious ring a bell?”

“How did you know about that?”

She smirked. “I know everything about you, sweetie. And I read it in your file.”

“Yes, when _are_ you going to let me have a look at that file?”

“Spoilers.”

“ _If_ I may interrupt?”

They both turned to face the speaker. The Doctor’s jaw dropped, but River took it in stride. He was, after all, the demon she’d made the deal with.

The Doctor pointed. “He’s…he’s…”

“I know. The resemblance is striking, isn’t it?” River said.

“Canton Everett Delaware III!” the Doctor shouted.

“Beg pardon?” the speaker said.

The Doctor approached him, reaching out a finger to poke him in the cheek. Then he took a deep breath, sniffing him. He wrinkled his nose. “Oh, not Canton Everett Delaware III. Did you borrow his flesh? No, no, no, he was at Lake Silence when I died. Imprint? Are you an imprint?”

The man looked at River.

“You should answer him, Crowley. Otherwise, he’ll never stop talking.”

“I’ll never stop talking anyway. Though I _may_ stop asking questions about why you look like an old friend,” the Doctor replied, his nose almost touching Crowley’s as he examined him.

Crowley placed a finger on the Doctor’s chest and pushed him away. “They say everyone’s got a twin out there and I’ve been in this body a very long time,” he replied.

“Right. So, down to business, shall we? I’m sure you’re a very busy demon. Souls to corrupt, tricks to play. My lovely wife here made a deal with you because she thought I couldn’t handle myself.”

“He _can’t_ handle himself,” River interrupted.

“Regardless, I got myself out of the wringer by the seat of my own pants, so there’s no need for this deal of yours. I know she had you come here,” he said, glaring at the prison hallway, “to collect her for her end of the bargain, but it is quite unnecessary.”

Crowley lifted an eyebrow. “And how do you know that your seat of the pants escape isn’t due to anything I have done?”

The Doctor gave him a cold smile and stepped closer, so River wouldn’t be able to hear him. “Because I know how she dies, Crowley. And you weren’t anywhere around.”

Crowley laughed. “Doctor, who said she made a deal swapping your life for hers?”

The Doctor turned back to River quickly. “What have you done?”

“Now, now, sweetie,” she said, resting her chin on the bars.

“And if you say spoilers, I’ll…I’ll…”

“Yes?”

“Oh, stop your smirking,” he said. He turned back to Crowley. “What did she offer and what will it take to get her out of it?”

“Doctor, no! You can’t be at the mercy of a demon!” River shouted.

“I have better odds of surviving.”

“I’ll tell Amy on you!”

The Doctor waved her off. “Well, Crowley? What did she offer you?”

“Doctor Song has a fount of information at her fingertips. I needed to know the location of something that was hidden before humans had words. She offered to give me its location if I saved your life.”

“But you didn’t _have_ to save my life.”

“True. All I really had to do was put a bug in the ear of a few people to make sure everything went smoothly. She said I could trust you to do the rest.”

The Doctor thought about this. It seemed plausible; and River’s life wasn’t actually at stake, just information.

“What place could a demon want that a time-traveling archaeologist could supply?” the Doctor asked.

“Don’t,” River warned Crowley.

“I wouldn’t. It is, after all, our deal,” Crowley said. He snapped his fingers and both River and the demon disappeared.

“ _River!_ ” the Doctor shouted.

With a loud _pop_ , Crowley reappeared with a bedraggled River in his arms.

“River,” the Doctor breathed, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and running it over her.

“She’s alive, Doctor. Her life wasn’t part of the deal,” Crowley said as he deposited her in the Doctor’s arms.

“What did you do to her?”

“The place we went proved to be…inhospitable. I did my best, but she is still a little worse for wear.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t leave her there,” the Doctor grumbled, sitting down with River in his lap.

“I tried. Damned woman used some sort of handcuffs to lock me into this body and to her. Didn’t let me go until we were safe and I could bring her back. She had quite a few things to say about what you would do to me if I messed with timelines.”

“There is literally nowhere you could have hidden from me,” the Doctor confirmed.

Crowley watched as the Doctor brushed River’s hair back from her face. “You said you know how she dies.”

“I do.”

“You were there.”

“I was.”

“Care to make a deal to alter that?”

The Doctor glared up at him. “I can’t do that. Her death and what happens to her after are fixed in time."

Crowley chuckled. “She said you’d say that.”

“You’re done here, then?”

“I am. See you around, Doctor.” Crowley turned and started walking down the hallway.

“Crowley.”

He paused and turned.

“What were you looking for?”

“Spoilers,” he replied, then disappeared.

River stirred in his arms. “Sweetie?”

“I’m here. You’re back. Are you all right?”

She sat up in his lap, wrapping her arms around him and settling her cheek on his shoulder. “Ancient places are always difficult. How about a cuddle?”

The Doctor aimed his sonic screwdriver at her cell door, opening it. He put it away and stood up, carrying her inside. He laid her down on the definitely-not-prison-issue bed and curled up beside her.

“Where did you go?” he whispered against her temple.

“Nowhere important,” she said before snuggling in and feigning sleep.

He didn’t need to know the horrors she’d experienced in their week-long search for Purgatory. He could comfort her without that knowledge.

It was better for everyone that way.


End file.
